I need to take a second...

to remember the important things.  The blessing that is growing inside of me right now.  What a miracle being pregnant really is.  How lucky we are to have such a bright and loving daughter here with us already.  I'm so happy to have a nice place to live, a successful business, food on the table, and family that is very supportive.

But I am just having a very hard time seeing the positive things this week.

My body is tired.  It is not happy and I really think it hates me at this point.  If I'm not sick I'm tired, and when I'm not tired I'm sick.

Stresses this week include:

 School behavior problems with Alyssa (1st call from the teacher)

Overwhelmed with orders from my business

**As I just typed that my phone signaled another order that just came in...

Not being able to restock for my next show (1 week away)

Trying to juggle selling candles along with my bow business

House work

Dinners

Laundry

Doing the grocery shopping (let alone any extra shopping)

Alyssa has grown out of most of her clothes

Trying to recover from a long weekend at my last show - I just can't seem to shake that one off

And the worst part of all... we are finally going to be able to see our precious little baby tomorrow for the 1st time at our ultrasound.  And as much as I want to be excited, I also can't help but dread going back to that doctor's office.  Steve having to miss out on pay to be there with me.  Having to find somewhere for Alyssa to go before school because our appointment is at 8:15am and we have to leave at 7:15am.  Worrying about morning traffic.  Not getting enough sleep since we have to get up so much earlier then we usually do.

YES - these are all the things that run through my head OVER AND OVER.

ALL of those things.  All day long.

And what do I do... sit here, not feeling well, wanting to just take a nap, not doing a thing about any of it because I don't feel well.

Steve even told me yesterday how bad stress is on a person, let alone a pregnant person.  I just don't know what to do about it.

Sooooo sorry this is a downer post.  And maybe the sadness and depression has something to do with my up and down hormones... but I do write this blog for myself to look back on.  And I can only hope that at some point I can look back on this post and say - hey, I lived through that and am fine.